The Wide Awake Club

The great thing about insomnia is it gives you ample time to think about why you're not sleeping. This in turn becomes a myriad of possibilities each a little more sinister than the previous. While the increasing paranoia of what could be playing on your mind to induce such clarity in your days 23rd hour rises, you pass out with fear.

Any Which Way .

The interesting (as opposed to depressing; humiliating and distressing) thing about being made redundant is that I've become incredibly relaxed. I'm sleeping better than I have for many, many months. I'm completing my tasks in a timely and suitable manner and have laid the foundations for those who will be left beyond my departure. I've simply stopped worrying about the “what ifs”. I no longer have the back up plan and the back up to the back up. It's refreshing going to bed and knowing that if it all goes horribly wrong at 04:00, it won't be me getting the phone call. I see the injustice and favouritism meted out and can console myself that during my tenure I did everything to be as fair and even handed as I could. Sure there were some who didn't like it, particularly those looking to cruise and ignore the very essence of what being in a service industry is about, and I've no doubt they will continue to be despised by their colleagues and cosseted by those who should know better. I never understood why those few were chosen and so never got on board with the idea. I guess that's my failure and why I was never part of the clique.

I do worry about the future though, and I'm torn about which way to turn. Part of me will be glad to see the back of the waste industry and I wonder whether I should look outside of transport and logistics all together. Another part of me finds that idea terrifying as I have a bit of a comfort zone there. What else can my particular skills translate to?

Of course, in the current economic climate there's hardly an abundance of opportunities and I've still got a mortgage to pay and a family to support (as have the many unfortunate people at MFI and Woolworths who find themselves in a similar position) so it's not as if I can afford to be choosy even if given the chance.

Will work for food.

A 1-2 victory over Germany should make me happy, but as many thousands in England's green and pleasant lands are finding to their horror, the words redundancy and unemployment are rearing their ugly heads. Learned today that I'm facing redundancy. Bummer!

Ground Floor, comin' up.

Given how much I have to say on a wide variety of topics, this blog is awfully quiet. It seems I'm only posting now to explain why I'm not posting. Obviously Warhammer Online:Age Of Reckoning (PC) is taking up a fair few of my gaming hours, and almost lives up to expectations. I'm having another run through Crysis (PC) too.

There's so many things wrong in the world at the moment, and the angry young man I once was is tired and old. All my anger these days just turns to bile and heartburn.

I've had a bit of a nasty chest infection recently, so having had a few days off work and still feeling rough around the edges and certainly nowhere near 100%, I drag my sorry fat arse back in. Having missed a few days I'm a little out of touch and when I enquire as to what's been happening I'm informed by one of my superiors that if I wanted to know what was going on I shouldn't have stayed off. That was soon put behind us though as he went on to tell me how my efforts to safeguard our employees over the past couple of months were wrong and affirmed my theory that our employees health and safety is inversely proportionate the size of the customer's account. It's that level of warmth and love that keeps me going and makes me feel so appreciated in work.

On the plus side, there's a new poster and some nice stills for Watchmen.

I'm not playing World of Warcraft

The lack of posts though would suggest otherwise. To make matters worse, the only real point of this entry is to bring to an end the information drought. So what has little me been doing?
Oblivion (PC) - Riding Shadowmere all around Cyrodiil and heading all the guilds except the Mages. Apparently I'm not magic enough for those dress wearing biatches. Pretty much boxed off what I need to and am considering installing Shivering Isles, but I'll give it a bit of a break first.
S.T.A.L.K.E.R - Shadow of Chernobyl (PC) again. Yes I know it's a little rough around the edges but it's such a great game that leaves so many questions unanswered or open to interpretation that I just had to have another run through before Clear Sky comes out.
Guitar Hero III:Legends of Rock (Wii) - I know the Wii version suffers from poor graphics and no DLC, but the experience is the same irrespective of version so whatever console you own (if any), pick this up and let your tennis racket strumming inner brat out.
Warhammer Online:Age Of Reckoning (PC) - The MMO I've been waiting for will finally arrive on September 18th (open beta access and live game headstart excepted). No doubt will be massively disappointing given the length of time I've been waiting and my now almost infinite expectations.
Other than that the family trip to Disneyland Resort Paris was, and I must apologise ahead of time for resorting to this: awesome! TIP: If you're taking kids I wouldn't recommend going by car without overnight stays on route unless you can do it in less than 6 hours, even with Nintendo DS's.

An Oscar Wilde Picture On The Wall

The title reference being The Smiths - I Started Something, and while maybe a touch obscure it's the song title that is a reflection of my relief to see the end of May. It started well, typical of TV end credits for the copyright year. So then when the months second post got the title of the Half Man Half Biscuit song I'd put on my phone, which in itself was a tale of pretension and so why I chose it, I'd started down a path without even realising. So then post #3, and coming as it did following a nostalgia chat about connecting devices and the lead mentioned in title, so that seemed the obvious choice given that I was searching for a lead in line with the new purchase. I now felt obliged to carry on the title style for the rest of the month, only I didn't know how. I'm not that clever! So drums. What acronym can be lent? None. What about some kind of relevant code? No. Drum tabs? No. So pop's favourite chord progression and a determination to ensure nothing noteworthy happened for the rest of the month.

D C G

I need to drum more. The kit's set up and the neighbours are surprisingly understanding so why is it I still choose to pick up a guitar than go and beat something repeatedly? The sorry truth is that I'm fat; I'm old; and I've simply slowed down. There were days when I'd spend hours beating out rhythms and odd timed wonders, but now I can barely get through a couple of tracks without needing a break. Those 16 & 32/4s are now 2/4s. I know if I practice more I'll get back into it, but unlike years past when I get there I find myself wondering what to do. I don't have a couple of albums worth of tunes in my head like I used to, and worse, I know what I'm capable of. That's the biggest kicker. I know what I can do behind a kit, but my dodgy right ankle can no longer go the speed or take the pounding it used to and age is a factor in getting these arms moving. I find myself angry and frustrated for not doing what I should be doing, so rather than face that frustration I pick up a guitar and strum.