Review: Quake Live

I don't normally 'do' reviews. Sure I've summarised my feelings on a number of games on completion, though these were hardly in-depth analyses of the games. I've often been tempted but the truth is there are far better and knowledgeable people out here in the world wide waste of time that are considerably more qualified and adept than I. So forgive the shambolic and rambling nature of what is to follow, but having been waiting for the past 2 days, got so far as downloading the plug-in which required having to restart my browser and therefore dropping back to the end of the queue, then proceeding to join the queue several more times only to have to give up before getting in I was starting to think the whole thing was some elaborate hoax. I've now been queuing for nearly two hours this morning and am still only 2,434^th in the queue. I'm so annoyed that I've decided to stick around so I can pull it apart. I know it's still technically in Beta, but they said I could play and so far I've not. Quake Live, I am here to destroy you.

In case you are unaware, Quake Live is a first person shooter developed by id Software which you play competitively through your internet browser. The goal for id was to bring an enhanced version of Quake III Arena to a wider audience and in order for it to be free to users the project would be supported from in game advertising. Based on the queues to get in so far it has certainly attracted an audience and id can start to push numbers under marketing types noses and open the bidding.

Some orange juice and the end credits to Walk Hard on TV later and it's 2 hours 47 minutes since I joined the queue and the character selection screen has appeared. As well as choosing your character you can familiarise yourself with or edit the controls, customise your crosshair and change a few colours. Nothing too involved or daunting. As one of the ideas behind this endeavour is to make it accessible to to the widest spectrum possible, thus far it's promising. Even my dear mother-in-law could follow this. Meanwhile the main body of the game starts downloading in the background so at this point it's all pretty seamless.

One major concern for online gaming virgins, or even veterans who just suck, will be the prospect of giving this a try only to to find themselves repeatedly fragged out of existence before so much as getting a shot off. I've certainly stopped playing games before due to the constant deaths brought about by those who have dedicated themselves to honing their skills. All credit to them for their dedication, and I don't wish to detract from their ability. It's just not much fun for those of us who have other commitments and are simply looking for a bit of entertainment. This is where the game's Placement Match comes in. Before you head in to the big frag fest you have to play what is effectively a tutorial. This is ten minutes of learning the basics and battling an AI opponent, at the end of which the game evaluates you. The beauty of this is that it means when you do enter the real gaming arena you'll be playing against opponents of similar ability, which should make for a far better balanced and enjoyable game.

In entering my assessment a lovely young lady named Crash took me into a side room and explained about the weapons, health, armour, jump pads, and took me on a brief tour of the arena. She then proceeded to blow me to smithereens. Ten minutes later and we were tied at 14-14. Next frag the winner. A bit of cat and mouse, a few stray rockets, a quick run to a health globe and as I turned the corner I saw her heading for the red armour. If I could just hit her before she picked it up. Yes! Take that, bitch! Boo-yar, who's the man? I rule!

I'm sure id have just been very clever with the tutorial as they wouldn't want people bowing out at this early stage, so keeping the match tight allows the inept such as myself to still feel we've accomplished something and willing to go on.

The game itself runs incredibly smoothly and once the competition was under way it was easy to forget that this was running in a browser. The visuals are tremendous given the platform. Obviously they don't compare to the likes of Crysis or even Half Life 2, but they do surpass the original Quake III Arena's visuals, which lets not forget took a top notch high end PC to do it justice on release, and yet here it is running in Firefox. This was just a 1 on 1 tutorial though. What would it be like in the big arenas?

Continuing you are returned to the main site where you have the option of taking your skills online or practising further. The lower part of the page shows your statistics and will be continuously updated as you play. No doubt a great source of embarrassment for the likes of me with an accuracy rating of 20% in the tutorial. There's not going to be many numbers to be proud of in there.

I should stress that on completing the tutorial the last thing to do is decide that it's lunchtime and head off to make an egg sandwich, pour a fresh glass of orange juice, and sit down to watch the news while you eat, as when you return your inactivity will have had you logged out.

It's 13:42 and I'm 28,430^th.

14:32 and I'm back in.

Unsure of whether I was truly ready to take on human opponents just yet I went into practice. Anyone new to this type of thing would be well advised to do the same. Here I could choose the game type from Clan Arena; Capture The Flag; Team Deathmatch; Free For All; and Duel. Selecting Clan Arena gave the choice of 35 arenas, the time limit, the round limit, the bot skills and the total number of players. Listed like that it can seem a bit daunting, but the interface is easy to follow and in seconds I was choosing my side and rushing around at breakneck speeds. Requiring eight rounds to be won for victory, things didn't start well. The Blue team were 3-0 up and I was starting to remember why back in the day I went with Unreal Tournament's more controlled and tactical antics instead of Quake III Arena's frenetic action. All too soon I was mashing the space bar and left mouse button and while I'm sure there is an art to doing this, it all felt a bit random. Any deaths attributed to me felt more down to luck than skill. Maybe I'm doing myself a disservice. Only way to be sure I suppose is to go up against humans.

The site offered a Capture The Flag game as a 'Best Pick' so I braced for impact and headed in. Allowing the game to decide which team to put me on I had a look around the level. We're in space with each team having a multi-tiered platform at either end and a central plane between us. To the sides are some more platforms, some jump pads, and some glowing discs. Wondering what the discs do I decide to investigate further, but there's no time, the countdown, 3...2...1 it's over and there's already a red skeleton in front of me flying into the air off a jump pad and heading for the blue flag. I instinctively jump and start firing my shotgun, but he's turned and is heading off the platform. I give chase and we both launch across the sky. During flight I've collected a Railgun and anticipating his landing point, I fire. The skeleton hits the ground and the blue flag is freed. Elated, I launch into the air and head towards the red flag, adrenalin fuelled and hungry for blood, until a rocket blast blows me off and I fall into the void of space. So it continued for the next ten minutes. The red team won 6-1 and I sat third out of the four blue team members. I'm not the worst, and I'm hungry for more. Back at the main page there's a number of matched games for me to join so I head in again.

Playing with humans certainly felt a more solid and rewarding experience, though I think I'll spend some more time practising as despite the slightly disconnected feeling, there's no doubt familiarity with the maps will stand me in good stead.

Quake Live is everything Quake III Arena was, and more. Working through a browser gives it a level of accessibility beyond the gaming crowd. I'm sure some purist will bemoan the fact that their beloved pastime will now be shared by all and sundry, though thanks to the matching system they are unlikely to ever meet.

While I was eager to give Quake Live a try, I didn't expect to particularly enjoy it. I was more interested to see how it would work and what concession would have had to be made. It is a truly incredible achievement and a considerably better gaming experience than many retail products. I should warn Vista users that at present Aero isn't compatible, though the game will turn it off for you on launch.

My only real criticism is of the current waiting times. For Quake Live to be viable it needs to attract advertisers and for that it will need to captivate and sustain significant numbers. It's accessibility once you're in will certainly help in that regard, though if the waiting times don't improve people may not be willing to wait. I'm sure once the beta ends and it's fully live it won't be an issue. For now I'm in, and I'm staying put.

Try it yourself at www.quakelive.com

This Charming Man

You'd think the receipt of a rejection e-mail this morning on the basis of “candidates with more relevant experience than yourself “ would put me in a negative frame of mind. You'd be right. However it's not all bad as while I'm head sore and miserable today, I did have a very pleasant time this previous evening in my local Wetherspoon's with a delightfully charming man, who for the sake of protecting the innocent I shall henceforth refer to as Mr Jones. As is normal on such occasions I tend to arrive slightly early and he arrives slightly later than the specified time. This gives me the opportunity to browse the selection of beverages on offer and contemplate what I should drink. I'm not much of a drinker you see. I used to be. There was many an occasion I would go out with friends and drink the night away without fear of repercussions. These days however I'm more likely to end up with chronic acid, leading to sleep deprivation manifested as frequent visits to the porcelain altar whereby I would attempt to have my diaphragm exhumed from my body by way of my oesophagus. The temptation is always therefore for me to have 'foo foo' drinks. The likes of Smirnoff Ice and WKD or any of those that could be referred to as alco-pops, as historically they have caused significantly less troublesome nights and following days. The problem is when I'm drinking with another man it somehow feels wrong. I'm not sure I can explain what it is, but there just seems something unmanly about sitting in a pub having 'man time' drinking a little bottle of an oddly coloured fruit based drink, irrespective of it's potency or alcohol content. Men drink pints. Pints of beer.

I'm old enough to know better and there's so many aspects of things I do or say without concern for what others may think of me as a result that I should be comfortable to drink anything I like, irrespective of how I may be perceived. So why can't I?

Anyway, Mr Jones was a delight as always. A genuinely charming man who it is quite a pleasure to be in the company of. He's the type of chap, and I use the term in consideration of every WWII movie that saw anyone of good standing being referred to as jolly decent, who exudes warmth.

Much of the evening was spent discussing my varied and wonderful neurosis. I say discussing. I suppose inflicting would probably be more apt. Mr Jones being the rapturous Adonis that he is (I know I may be venturing into some form of homo-erotica here, so for the avoidance of doubt: I'm not and neither is he, though if he was and so where I, I most certainly would, though he would no doubt spurn my advances in the most humble of ways and I would find myself alone in the gutter offering my services to the most foul and abusive for little more than a packet of Spicy Nik-Naks and a cup of Bovril) took it all in good humour and at the end of the evening sent me away with a spring in my step. Jolly decent chap.

Wandering far

I've finally finished playing Fallout 3 (PC) for the time being. I've visited every significant location, though not found every bobblehead nor triggered every quest, and you know, that's fine. I never wanted the experience to degenerate into a complete fetch quest, I just wanted to see what the wasteland had to offer.

Leaving the confines of Vault 101 I played the game pretty much as myself, in so much as I can be myself in a fictional post apocalyptic future, letting my personal morality be my guide. As such, as tempted as I was to put a .44 magnum shell into the back of the likes of Moriarty's head and blow the residents of Megaton to kingdom come, I never did so. Maybe next play through. And that's the biggest ringing endorsement I can give. Despite almost 100 hours of wandering the wastes I'd be more than happy to start all over again. Sure the ending is a bit of kick in the happy sack, but that doesn't detract from the delights that have gone before.

I could of course continue playing now, with the Operation Anchorage expansion, though as it's only available through the Games For Windows Marketplace, which would be a reason to disregard it in itself, and the reviews giving the impression that it is akin to sprinkling powered turd on my cornflakes, I think I'll give it a miss.

There's other expansions in the works and I'm sure when Bethesda have finished milking it they'll put a nice little expansion compilation together as they did with the Knights of the Nine for Oblivion and that's when I'll jump back in, only this time as a twisted killing machine bent on intensifying the pain and misery of the inhabitants of this ravaged DC. [insert Vincent Price laughter here]

So with an ever expanding backlog of games it was a tough choice deciding where to go next. Being the FPS lover that I am Far Cry 2 was always going to be favourite, though with the recent system wipe I need to restart both Colin McRae DiRT and Psychonauts so there was a temptation to go back to them. I've also got Beyond Good & Evil and Company of Heroes Gold Edition sitting in my Steam list eyeing me disappointedly. I've not given nearly enough time to zombie blasting in Left 4 Dead, and Mass Effect and Grand Theft Auto IV aren't going to play themselves. Add to that the recent release of F.E.A.R.2: Project Origin and Burnout Paradise Ultimate Box demo's, that gave me just enough to tempt me in with their wily ways, and the excitement is palpable. How am I going to cope?

One notable absentee in all this is Warhammer Online. There was some debate about Warhammer over at the ZTTB site, which I'll expand upon my input in order to explain that while I am still playing it, I'm not doing so as much as I expected.

I dabbled with Warhammer briefly in school, though I was primarily a D&D kind of guy, and maybe my memory isn't too good because I wasn't expecting, well, what Warhammer Online is. I've tried to love it, tried to warm to it's charms, but once the initial excitement wore off I felt that there's just something missing. Now it may just be me being the anti-social nay sayer that I can be, but the reason I liked Guild Wars was because I got to play with people I liked and had fun with. Once all the guildies stopped playing I had no reason to go back and finish it. I was never really into running around alone, and not being sure I could invest the time needed for character development I was never convinced a proper MMO would fit, so I avoided the likes World of Warcraft and Everquest II for this reason and because of the monthly subscription, despite the number of people I knew who where jumping in and splashing around while telling me how lovely it was and to get the water wings off and join them.

Warhammer, I told myself, would be different. Surely going into a massive bloody conflict with several hundred others as body parts fly across the battlefield in a hail of flame and bullets would be my dream ticket, particularly as we had, an all be it brief, history.
It seems strange then that I'm having most fun going off doing the PvE alone. I certainly didn't expect that. I think the cause of this unexpected development is that I've found people still play as individuals, and as such the PQ's work best because people can do their own thing but it still contributes to the overall goal. In the PvP scenarios, unless you have at least a party and preferably a warband going in, it just becomes a free for all. That makes the experience feel somewhat unsatisfying. Hollow.

Having said all that, I still think it's worth picking up and having a play, and despite my reservations I have put my money on the table and will be playing until May, but I really don't know if I'll go beyond that. There's no doubt that WoWers who came across for the launch didn't find it compelling enough to stay once Wrath of the Lich King was released, and there was a significant juggling act to balance the servers. There's also been a number of changes in game since launch that have improved things with Mythic being swift to implement them and the speed with which they've responded to criticism has been commendable. They've reintroduced classes that were removed to ensure the game launched on time and balancing and UI issues have been rectified. All in all it is very solid and well implemented.

The environments are fantastic. The characterisations are brilliant. The Tome Of Knowledge is a stroke of genius. There's a wealth of material in and around the game world that you can delve as deep as you like into. There's an abundance of content, and you're free to sample whichever takes your fancy. Want to play as a High Elf but like the Dwarf story? Go do the Dwarf story then. Once you've basically got through the training quests and got to your first warcamp, your race doesn't have to dictate your quest path. The quests themselves can range from a quick walk down the road to chat to someone, to sprawling multi-part epics. Should you find some like minded people to adventure with, your quests can be shared with the others in your party, with re spawn of components/quest items happening swiftly enough that you don't get bored waiting for everyone to get the loot.

There's so many plus points and great things in there and I want it to be a great success. That's why I'd love to recommend it to everyone as an essential purchase. The fact that I can't saddens me. I hope that anyone who does buy it likes it. I hope it's just that MMO's at the end of the day aren't my bag. I really do.

Not that I can worry about that now. I've got some bloke going by the pseudonym “The Jackal” to kill.

At Home with The Dentons - Episode Four:

Return of the Other Guy

Paul: Hi JC.
JC: Hey Paul.
Paul: Guess who I bumped into at the Greasel Pit.
JC: I can't possibly imagine.
Alex: Yo! Yo! Yo! JC Dawg. Man you is lookin' wicked!
JC: Paul may I have a word, in the back?
Paul: Sure JC.
JC: Why? Why in my perfectly balanced and beautiful harmony would you bring that runt back here?
Paul: JC, he's family.
JC: I hate you.

Well, well, well.

I accept that faith requires a certain degree of detachment from reality. If it didn't, cynicism and logic would take over and we'd all be soulless automatons. Or Mr Spock. I am differentiating between religion and faith here as while I don't subscribe to any particular religion, I do have faith. I trust that's clear. No? Oh well, what a pity, never mind.

Sometimes I hear tales that are somewhat far fetched. Often though I can see the seed that spawned the tale and see where things may have been exaggerated or poetic licence taken. A tale I read this week though just seems so far removed from any kind of reality I'm at a complete loss.

North Wales circa 630AD. A particularly attractive young girl with a reputation for possessing great intellect decides to give herself over to Christ and become a nun. The local prince thinks that would a terrible waste so goes to see her to suggest instead she become a princess. Not a bad deal you might think, and certainly Disney have made a few bob by suggesting that it's every young girls dream. Anyway, our heroine decides that rather than be a princess she'd prefer to remain chaste and live in poverty. Great intellect you see.

Unwilling to take no for an answer the young prince goes from charming suitor to potential rapist, and our heroine takes flight down the hill towards the local church where her family are attending mass. I know what you're thinking, she's planning on becoming a nun but doesn't go to mass with her family? She's not that committed is she? Anyway, being the sensible and level headed dashing young prince that he is, our villain whips out his sword and lops her head off. The head rolls down the hill and comes to rest on a slight plateau. Suddenly, water starts to spring up through the ground, bathing the head and ruining her hair do.

Our heroine's uncle, who was taking the mass she didn't bother going to, hears of his niece's fate. Again, I know what you're thinking, where some particularly chatty sheep watching that suddenly ran into the church to bleat? Someone send him a tweet on his i-phone? There's no suggestion that there were any witnesses so what alerted him remains a mystery. Having been alerted though, he and her parents leave the church and attend to the head, picking up the soggy bonce and taking it back up the hill to where the body lay, placing it back on the neck and covering it with a cloak. You'd think at this point that seeing their murdered daughter lying on the side of the hill sans head there'd be some form of outpouring of sorrow. A desire to apprehend the murderer. Pay last respects. No, they all went back to the church to finish mass and possibly tea and biscuits. Maybe a flan.

With mass over, the family head back out to the body and the uncle kneels beside her, bearing his soul in prayer. Personally I imagine this bit to be like Britain's Got Talent with the holy trinity hovering over their buzzers while watching. The uncle, managing to complete his prayer without a single “X” wins a holiday home in Bangor and his niece resurrected. Yes, when he removes the cloak the head has been reattached and our heroine is fine and dandy. I wonder if he thought to say “Ta-da!” as he pulled the cloak away, and I hope he got a round of applause. Again though my imagination runs away with me a bit because the picture I can't get out of my head is that of Patty Mullen in Frankenhooker. Not exactly saintly.

Now obviously I didn't pay much attention to biology classes as I really would have expected decapitation to be terminal and so anyone having been dead, and we're not talking slight misunderstanding with finding a pulse here, to then be up and about at the very least would have been accused of being a witch, with the village gathered and set to collecting kindling. And if not a witch then what? You're dead but now you're walking about. That would make you a zombie? Surely? Again, villagers, kindling, marshmallows.

Attention now turns to our villain. Maybe it's just me, but if I'd just decapitated someone on a Welsh hillside I think my immediate reaction would not be to hang about. I think at the very least I would leave the area, possibly burn my clothes, but definitely not put my sword into the ground and lean on it. So what does our villain do? He puts his sword in the ground and leans on it while the family come out, collect the head, put it by the body, cover with the cloak, return to the church, finish mass, come back out, pray, and finally remove the cloak (ta-da, round of applause, bow to circle, bow to the stalls). I'm sure he did regret this somewhat odd decision as once our heroine was breathing again, her uncle called forth the wrath of God and the ground opened and took the prince away, presumably to the bowels of Hell. Bit excessive if you ask me, given that even decapitation didn't appear to cause any real harm in the end. I think had he gone to the court of appeal he'd have had a case.

Resurrected and by all accounts ecstatic at being able to breath again, our heroine spends the next twenty two years of her un-death as a recluse, until Jesus himself appeared to tell her that her un-death would soon be reclassified to re-death.

The site where her decapitated head came to rest and the spring appeared is now a place of pilgrimage for people to bathe in the waters, preying 3 times to be cured. Much like the way you'd call Beetlejuice, with just as likely an outcome.

Go to St Winefride's Well, Holywell and see for yourself.

At Home with The Dentons - Episode Three:

The Dentons Reloaded

Paul: Hi JC.
JC: Oh, erm, Hi Paul. Didn't hear you come in.
Paul: I thought that with you and Helios being so tight you'd have known I was coming in.
JC: Well yes, obviously, I was just, erm, distracted.
Paul: With what?
JC: Oh y'know, ensuring global stability, making sure environmental conditions in Newcastle, New South Wales are varied enough to annoy Professor Franks. The usual.
Paul: And you normally do that with your pants down?
JC: Yes.
Paul: Hmm.

Aisle be there

Standing by the pastas in the supermarket today I became very self aware. I'm not a thin man, but I'm hardly gargantuan either. My waste is more rounded than perhaps I'd like, and yes my rear end can comfortably fill a Victorian armchair. Standing on the bathroom scales would suggest I'm obese, though it's marginal and I am working on it. The point is, no matter how much you shunt, push and grunt, that shopping trolley is not going to fit up my arse.

At Home with The Dentons - Episode Two:

The Two Dentons

Paul: Hi JC.
JC: Hey Paul.
Paul: Doing much?
JC: Just making it rain on the Isle of Man.
Paul: Why?
JC: To make it wet.
Paul: Oh. I'm going the pub, coming?
JC: No.

Taking stock.

Fool that I am, when I started this blog thing I didn't see the point in adding tags or labels to the posts. I never considered having to go back through to see what I'd thought about 'x' at the time (y?). So I'm off on a Who-esque journey to the past and into my growing back catalogue so that I can now, well, catalogue it. Assuming it doesn't take too long I should be back yesterday.

At Home with The Dentons - Episode One:

The Phantom Premise

Paul: Hi JC.
JC: 'sup?
Paul: It's all good. Watcha up to?
JC: Oh, y'know, general omnipotence
Paul: JC, you, like, know everything right?
JC: Yeh.
Paul: So what's the new Watchmen movie like then?
JC: Oh man, it's sweet.
Paul: Cool, wanna go see it with me?
JC: No.
Paul: Oh.

Alive alive d'oh!

I don't like criticising. Honest. Sure I like to point fun as much as the next socially inept intellectual failure, but that's different. It's hard for me to justify anger sometimes as those my anger would be directed towards are far and away on a higher tier. Take my current bile inducing situation, the bastion of all that is unholy, Games For Windows Live. Those responsible for it are well education suitably qualified professionals and were we to meet I can see it going something like this:

Me: Games For Windows Live is shit!

GFWL Team: Could you do better?

Me: Erm, no.

Argument lost and I'd slope off home with my stomach acid reaching tonsil tickling levels, develop massive stomach ulcers and drop dead. Probably best I don't pop over to Redmond then.

The thing is though, the statement stands because as far as a user experience is concerned, Games For Windows Live wholly fails to deliver on it's premise of providing seamless interaction between itself, the user and the game. I've seen numerous rants about GFWL and I've always thought they were a little harsh, however I now find myself a fully paid up hater. My first experience of GFWL was, like many others, with Gears Of War (PC). A competent 3^rd person shooter that by the end I was playing simply to finish and complete the story rather than any real desire to keep playing. When every now and then a little achievement box appeared it was fine, I wasn't particularly interested in the achievements, they're not something that I have any drive to collect. I kind of regard them like the Panini football stickers. I collected them as a kid and if I was still ogling pictures of Sam Fox and listening to Adam & The Ants I'm sure I'd want to collect them now, but I play games for entertainment and any sense of competition or need to collect artificial trinkets has long since left my old and weary frame. So why do I now hate GFWL? Fallout 3 (PC) is why. Fallout 3, a little slice of gaming heaven. I've been lost in the wastelands of post apocalyptic Washington DC for weeks and I have loved every second of it. Most of the time I've resisted using the fast travel system to move between discovered locations because I am feeling that lone man in the wilderness vibe, and that includes the trek and any pitfalls it may encompass. It was a little irritating therefore to have achievement boxes popping up periodically as while it's okay for a shooter, Fallout 3 is an RPG at heart and those moments break the bond between me and the environment I had completely given myself over to. Not to worry though, at the end of the day that's what the developers decided to do and as everything else they've done is right I can accept their decision for the achievements too. So why my sudden allegiance to the “GFWL must be destroyed” brigade? For that we must journey back to a time of innocence. When men fought great beasts to secure their family's food and shelter, about 8 weeks ago. I had a problem following a Windows update that left me unable to update further. Remote connection from a Microsoft tech' bod resulted in him telling me is was basically screwed and to reinstall the OS. My PC is used for a multitude of sins only one of which is gaming and at that time I had numerous personal projects on the go and so wasn't in a position to wipe it all there and then. So while I'm finishing my bits off I'm playing Fallout 3. Fallout 3 being a GFWL game wants me to log in to GFWL when I play, but GFWL has an update it wants installed but with all my update features AWOL and no way to replace them without a reinstall of the OS it can't, so it logs me out but still used the GFWL account details for my save games. That's fine, I have no problem with it so far. Over the past couple of days, I've finished all the previous odds and sods I was doing, I've backed up everything of any remote significance and I've formatted and reinstalled my OS, with the obligatory 24 hours of then getting all the hotfixes, service pack and more hotfixes. Reinstalled Steam and all my Steam games, and reinstalled Fallout 3 and copied over my save games. Why then, when I launch the game can I not access my previous saves? Why does it want me to create an offline account in order for me to continue my game? A bit of Googleing later and it appears the fix it to download the GFWL client separately and install it and sure enough a reboot later and all seems well. Indeed the new interface is not wholly unpleasant and it looks like Microsoft may be finally learning from Valve's example and Steam, except ,where are all these immersion breaking achievements I've collected while wandering the wastes? It would appear that because I wasn't connected to the GFWL service when those achievements were unlocked, they aren't saved or credited. They are lost. Gone. Vanquished. I have to ask then, why have them in the first place? If achievements in an offline game have no value, what is their point? Surely the unlocking of the achievements would be part of the save game and on connecting to the GFWL service the appropriate records updated? Is that so hard?

Like I said, I'm not an achievement seeker in games and I have no great desire to see and collect them all, however, having forced them upon me and in the process breaking, all be it fleetingly, my immersion, to now simply cast them aside is as insulting as it is careless. I hate you Games for Windows Live. You made me want achievements.

Punxsutawney Phil Says...

Following a brief read of the Groundhog Day entry over at Empire, I got to thinking about films featuring Andie MacDowell and wondering how and why I still see her on TV. Yes we all remember her peaking with Four Weddings and a Funeral, which was passable. She did put a good turn in for Groundhog Day and she was competent, in so much as she was forgettable, in Hudson Hawk. Looking at her entry over at IMDB (and discovering in the process that it's Brent Spiner's birthday, many happy returns Brent) I'm astounded by her body of work, as with the exception of those already mentioned and being completely redundant in Multiplicity and outright rifle fodder in Michael, I'm struggling to think of anything noteworthy she has done to warrant her continuously suggesting that I'm worth it.

Ter-wit To Who

I had heard tales so felt the need to investigate further and now have periodic musings from the legend that is Stephen Fry. I believe His Holiness The Fry mentioned the concept on Jonathan Ross's programme and has seen a large influx of loyal worshippers since, though having taped but not yet watched said show I don't know if this is true. Not that I have any reason to doubt it, I was simply more concerned with scavenging the wastes that are a post apocalyptic Washington DC in Fallout 3 (PC) and so am yet to see for myself. Anyway, the thing is, I've signed up to Twitter. More to do with my current obsession with Robert Llewellyn's Wet Liberal Weekly rants, I now find myself just sitting here while The Great and Powerful Fry makes words appear on my screen. Stephen Fry is making words appear on my screen. Stephen Fry. My screen. Stephen Fry.