RS232

I thought it might be nice to spend more money I don't have (what credit crunch?) on a new TV. Forty inches of South Korean 1080p LCD goodness. Having hooked it up the the V+ box, once the initial happiness of the upscaling wore off, I was hit by a twinge of disappointment that Virgin Media, like Sky, broadcast their HD output in 1080i for understandable service maintenance reasons. Cue Statler and Waldorf style booing, and a quest for 1080p media.

You'd think in the modern hooked up and jacked in virtual life it would be relatively easy to find material, but alas not. Movie trailers are easily viewed online through the PC, but I'm not looking to hook the PC up to the TV. Looking for downloadable content that could be written to a DVD leads me to all manner of Divx and Xvid and Mpeg4 and h/x264 files that then lead on to a ridiculous number of Googles to find out what the hell they are and how to play them. As it turns out it's redundant as the collected wisdom seems to be that once the resolutions get to 720p and beyond it's not so much about the file format but the carrier so standard DVD/DivX players won't output it anyway, even those with HDMI ports and upscaling ability. Which really only leaves Freesat and Blue Ray. Freesat is still in it's infancy and it's reasonable to expect a 12 month gestation period while advanced decoders, probably with hard drives in, get to market at a decent price. Blue Ray, despite now being confident and out of nappies, is still an unstable little toddler. While a format war is never a good thing, particularly for early adopters on the losing side, this latest HD DVD v BRD one had a rather disturbing outcome. Not so much for the format that won, but the manner in which that victory was achieved. A format war decided by the industry that controls it as opposed to the consumer is a worrying turn of events. When the winner is the more expensive and as yet is not a finalised standard then early adopters on both sides end up as collateral damage. The only sensible BRD player is a games console with a pad that promotes chronic finger fatigue.. so no, Blue Ray and even the PS3 may well be the future but they're overpriced and underwhelming right now.

Guess I'll just have to stick with 1080i for the time being, oh, and if anyone sees the Wii component cable in stock anywhere, give us a shout.

A 4AD3DCD

I decided to buy one of these new super phone jobbies. Actually, once again I'm starting with an absolute and blatant lie. The truth is that in a stupid attempt to frighten my better half I bid on a phone on e-bay. It's very nice, a Samsung SGH-G600, great reviews, rather desirable by all accounts, and while the bid I put in was not insubstantial (it had to be a significant amount for the scare factor), I was certainly surprised to find it was a winner. Cue (totally justified) “told you so” and “idiot” remarks from the wise one, and a sphincter so tight if I'd eaten coal I'd have shit diamonds. I'd bought a phone I didn't need, with money I didn't have, for a reason weaker than Derby County's Premier League status. I had intended to simply sell it on, but once it arrived I began playing with it and I like it. A quick glance through the manual shows the phone is fully equipped to be top of any self respecting happy slapper's shopping (!) list. I've never been tempted to get an i-pod, ear-pod or pea-pod so to suddenly have Half-Man Half Biscuit; NWA; Bowling For Soup and the theme tune for The Power Puff Girls blaring out at me when people call is a rather new and refreshing experience. I was just relieved when I got it to work with my in car bluetooth hands free kit, so the sound of Bubbles being the joy and laughter is a very pleasant bonus.

MMVII

You may think that the beginning of May is a bit late to be posting a retrospective. I could counter that it's easy, and indeed lazy, to jump on the January bandwagon and hurl forth reactionary sputum. So I've taken my time. I've considered each of 2007's days, even the rainy ones, to ensure that my verdict on the year is properly considered and definitive. Yes indeed, 2007 was okay.

Everyone Loves A Log

“Because they weren’t all your friends and you don’t want to be reunited with them”

A casual glance at the last book I read had me thinking: I’m not what you might consider a “people person”, and I need to read more books. I’ve always considered myself friendly. I like to think I’m polite. I’m certainly civil. A little too sarcastic and cynical sometimes, but never mean or malicious. I have a small selection of friends who I love and would do anything (within reason and current legislation) for. So why is it when I get friend requests on Facebook I automatically click “Ignore”? Why don’t I want to be e-friends? What’s wrong with sharing a virtual pint with some guy who stumbled across your name and vaguely recalls taking the piss out of your art in the 3^rd year of senior school?

People I’ve invested considerable personal time in I’ve allowed to become consigned to history. They’re memories. Part of a bygone age when I had hair and considerably less body mass, and I have no desire to rekindle or replace them. The only “friends” suitable for a virtual network are surely virtual ones. Those I’ve found myself sharing a beach with, on a tiny island in the monstrous ocean that is the online community. Whose shared interests mirror my own and as such the essence of the friendship is as purely superficial as the virtual community that spawned it. I have genuine virtual love for a fat ginger Welshman. In the real world I have a work colleague who makes semi-regular trips to Jersey and whenever he does I wonder how Doomus is! When I think of Sheffield (although I try not to obviously) I think of Madameye and Paws and I bless the fact I came to virtually know them. And most days driving home from work as I pass the Liverpool John Moores building I wonder how G-phoenix is progressing.

I kind of have a rationale: If you knew me then but don’t know me now… There’s a reason!

Excitement At Lofty Heights

Finally finished clearing and insulating the loft, and with only minor fatigue around the thighs this time. The force 10 gale that blows up the hall whenever a neighbour sneezes or closes their door hard, or a car drives up the road (it’s drafty, and I’m again too tired to try and be clever so shoe horning remains the order of the day) will soon be sorted and my home will finally be a warm and snug place. Actually, it won’t. That’s a big fat lie. When I’ve decorated, got new carpets, re-sealed the windows, re-decorated, got newer carpets, replaced the central heating; replaced the insulation and the 1,001 other things that as home owners we have to do and re-do to keep the never ending upkeep going so that one day, maybe, we can lie down and die, then it will be warm and snug. Ah, life! Forever a work in progress.

So, in good news I’ve ordered my new gaming PC. Got a bit of a bargain so am kind of expecting one of those “we made a mistake” e-mails and “if you want to hand over another bundle of cash we’ll think about it!” offers. Assuming that doesn’t happen, I’m excited at the prospect of playing Bioshock (PC) as it was meant to be seen. Of getting decent frame rates in Crysis (PC) even if the game is just a better looking Far Cry (PC) but with all the fun removed. I might even have yet another run through S.T.A.L.K.E.R (PC). Then maybe get my hands on Call Of Duty 4 (PC) and Gears Of War (PC). I might go crazy and book some time off work so I can have another crack at Oblivion (PC). On top of all that PC goodness, I’m ridiculously excited at the prospect of finally getting my hands on Super Mario Galaxy (Wii). News that Deus Ex 3 is in the works and the Ghostbusters trailer for the game that is in development are too exciting for words, see

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'Generic Shooter 3' Made Me Do It.

Everybody’s 9^th favourite Scotsman and current political laughing stock Gordon Brown wants to understand games and the gaming culture. Well, firstly, way up high on any gamer’s priority list, is not to lose your CDs / DVDs.

The Byron Review will hopefully advise the government that contrary to most mainstream media reports we’re not all slavering miscreants using violent videogames to finely tune our murdering skills before popping out to butcher old Mrs Tilly from No. 48. However, I can’t help but feel that we’re more likely to see greater controls and censorship heading our way. The current BBFC banning of Manhunt 2 is an example of reactionary censorship brought about by the systematic failure in the control and supply of videogames by those who demand the tighter controls. Parents.

With a title as suggestive as Assassin’s Creed (XB360/PS3) and a BBFC certificate 15 on the box, you don’t need to be a genius to work out that the game may feature the odd death, most likely committed by the player. So when I see a parent gladly hand the game to their 10 year old outside HMV in Birkenhead, my heart just sinks. I know it’s not an isolated case, and I’ve no doubt children throughout the country will be maiming and destroying with great abandon come December 25^th. I’m just waiting for the “Game Made Jonny Stab Mommy” headlines.

Time Waits For No Gamer.

Something happens as you get older, time speeds up. Add a family and time not only speeds up but starts playing tricks on you too. It knocks on your door and runs away and hides so that by the time you find it in order to have that bit of time to yourself, it’s already time for time to move on. Take this blog entry for example, I’ve been writing it for weeks. Not literally of course, I don’t type that slowly, but the original idea manifested some weeks back as I desperately tried to find time to play through the Orange Box (PC). Excusing TF2’s online shenanigans, Valve’s 2 little nuggets of newness are not particularly expansive. HL2:Episode 2 can be run through in about 6 hours. Portal in 4. There was a time when I could do both of them in one sitting and still get a few levels of whichever console game was flavour of the month. No chance of that now though. I’m lucky if I can even get close to 10 hours game time in a week.

There are numerous factors involved in this, but the primary one is simply that while gaming is far and away my favourite leisure activity, what should be my leisure time is no longer mine. In the evening’s it’s either my wife’s or works, and at the weekend it’s my daughters. Whereas weekends could be spent watching complete series of favourite TV shows or Star Wars movie marathons, now if we’re not out on some form of activity, my TV is owned by Dora The Explorer, Scooby Doo & Wonder Pets.

This leads me to thinking that the games industry is in danger of losing a significant proportion of its user base. I’m one of those people who was pretty much around at the start. I played on Intellivision, Atari 2600, ZX81, Spectrum, Amiga, SNES, PlayStation, N64 etc. I’ve aged with the industry and helped nurture it to its current maturity, yet I feel it's stopped making games for me. Developers seem intent on making games longer, seemingly to justify the price. They boast about 30+ hours of gameplay. At moments like this I like to get out a big pointy stick and point it’s pointyness towards Max Payne 2. Max Payne 2 could be completed comfortably in 8 hours, and yet on completion I’ve yet to hear of anyone complaining it was too short. On the contrary, I get the impression that the community seem to agree with my sentiment that The Fall of Max Payne was a beautifully crafted and executed interactive experience. The value came from the joy of (repeatedly) playing it. Movies aren’t judged on their running time so if gaming wants to move closer to being as respected then developers need to get over their hang up on length (I know there's an innuendo in there but I'm trying to be serious and avoid flaccid dick jokes and accusations of inadequacy). I’m now put off buying games such as Metroid Prime 3 Corruption (Wii) due to tales of fetch quests and save locations that mean there is no way to jump in and out of the game. Oblivion (PC) sits on the shelf, 30 hours of questing in and I fear I’ll probably never continue. I simply can’t commit to a multi-hour gaming session these days.

On the flip side we have the multi-mini-game simplicity of many a Wii title. While these are fun and easily accommodated in to what little time I have, they lack the compelling story or drama I want from a modern, mature, gaming experience. This is where I feel we risk losing the middle ground. People who have grown up with gaming and want to keep gaming. The hardcore gamer with casual sensibilities. I want mature themes. I want action. I want tension. I want drama.

I need it in a concise package.